Question: How can I help my child have a successful school year?

Answer:  Successful students usually have parents who are actively engaged in their children’s lives.  With our twins in their final year of college, my husband and I can personally vouch for this fact.  Throughout our twins’ K-12  school years, we were both parents who worked to stay on top of what was going on in their lives.  Plus, each year, either one or both of us did some type of volunteer work at their schools.  In fact, for seven of these years, I served as their school’s Parent-Teacher Association ( PTA)  president or vice-president.  I would regularly give fellow parents a lot of the same advice for helping their children do well in school.

Again, as parents, it is very important to know what is going on in your children’s lives.  You should know the names of their teachers.  Go out to their school for parents meetings and programs.  Keep up with what subjects your children are studying and what grades they are making.  Work with your children’s teachers, so you’ll know, for example, if your child needs tutoring or is having trouble with their vision.  Getting on top of possible problems early will increase your child’s chances of success much sooner in the school year.

Remember that a child’s first teacher is their parent.  Children naturally look to their parents for guidance in life.  In fact, the Bible reminds us that parents are their child’s most important teacher.  Proverbs 1:8 says, “My son, hear the instruction of your father,  And do not forsake the law of your mother,…”  (NKJV)  Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go,  And when he is old he will not depart from it.” (NKJV)

All said, being able to stay actively involved in your child’s life, takes time.  These days, many parents are working  longer hours on their jobs.  They have both their children and themselves involved in several activities outside of school.   They hardly have time to have a meal around the dinner table together.  Therefore, if parents want to make sure they are making the honor roll themselves this school year, they must find ways to increase the amount of quality time they give to their children.   Parents who can use some good tips for helping them increase their quality family time should check out Focus on the Family’s new fall feature, “Today I will…”  This Christian resource can be used to help strengthen your entire family…one day at a time.  Just go to www.focusonthefamily.com.

Helpful Links:

Focus on the Family  http://www.focusonthefamily.com

Crown Financial Ministries   http://www.crown.org

The Christian Broadcasting Network   http://www.cbn.com

World Magazine     www.worldmag.com

Question:  Is taking responsibility for one’s actions a thing of the past?

Answer:  It’s easy to see how you would think that, especially if you keep up with current news stories.  From the famous to the average guy, we hear of incident after incident of people being caught doing wrong and then, putting the blame on something or someone else for causing them to do what they did.  For example, we might hear of some people who blame stealing done by young people on the fact that they do it because they come from a dysfunctional home or they are poor.  However, we know plenty of poor people who do not steal from others.  My own family didn’t have a lot of money when I was growing up.  Yet, I wouldn’t have thought of stealing other people’s things.  My mother raised me by the biblical teaching that stealing is a sin.  I can’t imagine doing anything like that as a teenager and having to face my mother.

I think making excuses actually encourages these young people to steal.  They know that they are more likely to get away with their wrongdoing or just get a “slap on the wrist” type of punishment.  I also believe this is why we have seen a big increase in such mass mischief as “flash robs.”   Not to be confused with the “flash mobs” who might meet up at a mall to sing a beautiful song, “flash robs” are different.  “Flash robs” happen when large  groups of young people decide to descend on a place of business and, within a few minutes, steal as much merchandise from the business as possible.  They don’t seem to care about being seen by security cameras or being caught by the police.  Some involved might even record their “adventure” and put it on YouTube.  Check out this example of a “flash rob”: http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Flash-Mob-Knocks-Over-Silver-Spring-7-Eleven-134286103.html .  Plus, here’s another example:  http://www.kare11.com/news/article/969867/14/Flash-robs-hit-downtown-Minneapolis.  These are just two of many examples of “flash robs” happening in various parts of the United States.

While I don’t know for sure, I’d venture to guess that if some of these young people were caught and faced real prison time, they would start making excuses for their actions (or their lawyers would).  I would be very surprised if they said , “Yes, judge, I stole those things, and I accept my punishment.”  I believe it’s more likely they would say, “It’s not my fault!”  Still, I pray that we all set the right example for our young people and let them see us accepting responsibility for our actions.  Remember Psalm 37: 27-28, “Depart from evil, and do good;  And dwell forevermore.  For the LORD loves justice, And does not forsake His saints…” (NKJV)

Helpful Links:

Focus on the Family    http://www.focusonthefamily.com

Crown Financial Ministries  http://www.crown.org

Christian Broadcasting Network   http://www.cbn.com

World Magazine    http://www.worldmag.com

Question:  Why do some people seem to get exactly what they desire while I rarely seem to get what I really want in life?

Answer: As the saying goes, “the grass always looks greener on the other side.”  It may be true that some people you know are very successful in achieving their dreams while others continue to struggle through life to get to their goals.  However, the bottom line is, are you living your life to please God?  Have you made life choices that have been in agreement with how the Bible says we should live?  If you can answer “yes” to these questions, then in prayer, you should be seeking guidance from the Lord when deciding on and pursuing your goals.   Remember Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.” (NKJV)

The truth is that many Christians want to just make their “wish list,” then later pray for the Lord to make their dreams a reality.  They never even consider that what they want may not be in God’s plan for their lives.  They may even get mad at God and blame God for not fulfilling their desires.  For example, I’ve known of some women who have wanted to get married so badly -mainly because they saw their friends getting married or they wanted to experience the big wedding with all the trimmings- that they married men who were not God’s choice for them.  In fact, they married these men even when they knew the men didn’t believe in God.  Since we know marriage can be challenging even when you do marry a fellow believer, it will certainly be more difficult when you have opposite beliefs in the role of Jesus in your lives.   They should have waited on the Lord to guide them to God’s choice for their mate.

While the Bible clearly tells us that God hears and answers our prayers, we must recognize that His answer for what we desire may be “yes,” it may be “no,” or it may be “not right now.”  We must accept that He knows what is best for us.  So, drop the “I just want what I want , and I want it now!” attitude, and learn to be guided by God.

Helpful Links:

Focus on the family   http://www.focusonthefamily.com

Crown Financial Ministries   http://www.crown.org

The Christian Broadcasting Network   http://www.cbn.com

World Magazine   www.worldmag.com

Question:  Is it my imagination, or is patriotism not being taught the way it used to be?

Answer:  You’re right.  Students today seem to be taught more about all the wrongs of America and not much about all the positives of this country.  Let me be clear, students should know about the negative history of the United States.  The times of such things as slavery and racial segregation should not be swept under the rug.  Especially as Christians, we should want our children to understand that these types of events were not just wrong, but outright sinful!

That said, this country offers its citizens more opportunities for achieving one’s dreams than any other country.  Where else can you enjoy as much freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, freedom of religion, and other freedoms?  Where else can someone start out as one with minimum resources and, through access to free education and self-determination, be blessed by God to become one of the highest achievers?  One such story that I read about recently told of the case of a teenage girl in North Carolina who was neglected and abandoned by her parents.  She became homeless and  later, wound up taking a job working as a part-time janitor at her high school.  All the while, she maintained very high grades.  She ended up being accepted into Harvard University!  This young lady took advantage of the opportunities presented to her in this country and was able to achieve her goals despite her humble beginnings. http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2012/06/07/overheard-on-cnn-com-teen-janitors-story-like-good-will-hunting-readers-say/

As Christians, we must remember to live by Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (NKJV)  Keeping this verse in mind, we have only to go forth  taking advantage of the tremendous opportunities and freedoms we have in this great country.  Also, we must recognize that America can only stay great if we choose to live by the words of our country’s Pledge of Allegiance and remain “one nation under God..”

Yes, in my opinion, there’s no place like home.  May God bless the United States of America!

Helpful Links:

Focus on the Family     www.focusonthefamily.com

Crown Financial Ministries    www.crown.org

The Christian Broadcasting Network  www.cbn.com

World Magazine           www.worldmag.com

Question:  The world says that fathers aren’t really important to a family.  What does the Bible say?

Answer:  God’s Word makes it clear that fathers are very important to the family.  In fact, the father in the family serves as a symbol of our Heavenly Father, God.   We find an example of this in Matthew 7:9-11, “Or what man …if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone…   If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give  good things  to those who ask Him!” (NKJV)  God teaches this lesson about how He provides for us by using the example of how the father in the family will provide for his children.

Additionally, Jesus reminds us of the importance we are to place on both parents in Matthew 15:4, “For God commanded, saying, ‘Honor your father and your mother…'” (NKJV)  In the book of Proverbs, we find the father in the family often being the one who is teaching his children how they are to live a godly life.  For example, in Proverbs 4:1, 11, it says, “Hear, my children, the instruction of a father… I have taught you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in right paths.” (NKJV) Here, the Bible tells us that God expects fathers to teach their children how to live godly lives.

However, it’s important to note that for a father to  do all of this teaching, he must first be an active presence in his children’s lives.  Above all, the father must be a godly man, himself, in order to set this example for his household.  Sadly, too many fathers have abandoned the role God intended for them to have in the family.  Today, there are far too many children being born out-of-wedlock.  Too many fathers are not providing the spiritual support or financial support their children really need.  Too many are making babies with women who they are not willing to marry.

On the other hand, there are also too many fathers who, while married to their children’s mother, are present in body only.  They live in the same house as their kids, but they are not active in their care.  They don’t take the time to really talk to their children, teach their children, or take them to church.  They leave all of this care to the mothers.  As a result, we have an ever-increasing amount of  children seeking father figures through gangs, young girls becoming sexually active to seek “love,” and more young people going to prison.

God did not intend for mothers to raise children alone – even though many women have successfully done this.   God wants children to be raised in a stable home with their father married to their mother.  Most importantly, He wants the whole family to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, and live their lives to please God!

We need more of these good fathers.  Personally, I thank God that my husband is that kind of very good father to our two children!

Helpful Links:

Focus on the Family    www.focusonthefamily.com

Crown Financial Ministries  www.crown.org

The Christian Broadcasting Network  www.cbn.com

World Magazine           www.worldmag.com

Question: What should I do when I find myself not having the right Christian attitude towards life’s problems?

Answer:  We must remember to be wise in dealing with life’s problems.  As Christians, we know from Psalm 111:10 that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom…”. (NKJV)  Therefore, we must rely on God’s Holy Spirit to guide us in our thoughts and  attitudes.  Satan wants to turn our minds away from God, and he wants us to doubt God’s Word.  Fight back against Satan’s lies!  Remember James 4:7, “Therefore submit to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” (NKJV)  Try to stay daily in God’s Word, The Holy Bible, to keep your mind renewed in His Spirit.  The regular reading and studying of God’s scriptures nourishes the mind and spirit of the believer.   We become better at keeping the right attitude when dealing with life’s challenges because throughout God’s Word, he gives us guidance and direction in how to deal with life’s challenges.

So, wise up, Christians!  By keeping your mind on God,  you will keep the right attitude!

Helpful Links:

Focus on the Family   www.focusonthefamily.com

Crown Financial Ministries  www.crown.org

The Christian Broadcasting Network  www.cbn.com

World Magazine    www.worldmag.com

Question: How do I help my child deal with a bully at her school?  Also, how do I handle an adult bully on my job?

Answer:  It’s not uncommon for bullies to be a problem for adults as well as for children.  Usually, the child bully tries to belittle the other kid in some way.  The young bully may try to put down another for the way he looks, for example, by calling someone’s clothes ugly or out of style or saying they look fat.  These types of negative comments especially seem to take their toll on young girls making them embarrassed about their body image.  These bullies will often pull others into their sadistic behavior.  A common method older kids use for this is with cyber-bullying.  They use social media to start nasty rumors or post unflattering, doctored pictures of other students.  Some of the victims in these cases have even committed suicide because of the severe embarrassment caused by this type of bullying.

Adult bullies also tend to pull others in to help them with their harassment.  For example, at work, the adult bully might try to publicly embarrass you in front of co-workers by letting it be known that you didn’t give much to help buy a gift for another co-worker’s birthday, wedding shower, or new baby.  The person being treated this way may be too ashamed to admit that they can’t afford to give more.  Or, the adult bully may try to turn fellow co-workers against one another by revealing a co-worker’s political leanings or stand on controversial social issues.  If the bully knows that most of the office agrees  with the politics of the bully, the bully will openly say things like, “Can you believe there are people who actually feel this way about this issue?  Surely, they must be haters or bigots.”  By phrasing the issues in this way, the bully can often  succeed in intimidating those who disagree into silence.  After all, not many people will want to be thought of as a hater of others.

As Christians, we are to handle bullies with wisdom and love.  Matthew 5:44, Jesus says, “…love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” (NKJV)  Also, in Romans 12:19 it reads, “‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.”  As believers, we know that prayer changes things.  We know that God keeps His word.  So, when He promises to  deal with our enemies, He will.  He will do it in His way and in His time.  We are to pray about the bullies we are dealing with and ask for wisdom from God for what steps we should take in the meantime.

With God’s guidance,  do your homework.  Find out from your child’s school and from your human resources department at work their policies and rules for dealing with and reporting harassment.  Keep detailed records of each incident, including names, dates, times, and places.  Meet with your child’s teacher to report the bully and find out what will be done to stop this problem.  Meet with the principal if necessary.  Don’t stop taking appropriate actions until you are sure your child is safe.  At work, you can go through the proper steps to report the office bully.  Know your rights, and exercise them!   By relying on God’s wisdom and guidance, you can defeat the bully!

Helpful Links:

Focus on the Family     www.focusonthefamily.com

Crown Financial Ministries  www.crown.org

The Christian Broadcasting Network  www.cbn.com

World Magazine  www.worldmag.com

Question:  What are some good scriptures we can use to teach our teenagers about God’s meaning of marriage?

Answer:  First, teach them that humans did not create marriage, God did!  Therefore, God alone is who tells us what marriage is, as well as what we are to believe about it. We find in the first book of God’s holy word:  God’s creation of marriage.  In Genesis 2:18, God says, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” (NKJV)  In Genesis 2:22, we read that God took a rib from Adam and He made it into a woman, and He brought her to Adam.  In Genesis 2:23, Adam says: ” This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh;  She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of man.” (NKJV)  In Genesis 24-25, the Bible says, “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.  And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” (NKJV)  Clearly, God created marriage, and He created marriage to be between just one man and one woman!

Simply put, this is what God intends for marriage to be, and note in the New Testament Jesus does not change the meaning of marriage (Matthew 19:4-6)!  As Christians, we are to hold fast to, support, and live by the teachings of God’s word.

Helpful Links:

Focus on the Family     www.focusonthefamily.com

Crown Financial Ministries  www.crown.org

The Christian Broadcasting Network  www.cbn.com

World Magazine       www.worldmag.com

Question:  My daughter, who’s a freshman in college, has already started getting credit card offers in the mail.  How do I teach her not to get deep into debt like I did in college?

Answer:  Sadly, many young people start racking up credit card debt long before they are ready to handle the responsibility.  In fact, the idea of buying now and paying later has become the norm for many adults as well.  The average family today has racked up a great deal of debt.  They have mortgages on their homes, car payments, and usually more than one or two types of credit cards.  The truth is that many people have such a strong desire to “keep up with the Joneses” that they end going after the biggest house, the most impressive car, and  a multitude of designer clothes and toys, like fancy computers, smart phones, etc.  From the outside looking in, they appear to be the picture of success.  In reality, many people are way over their heads in debt.  They work hard to make others think that they have all their finances under control.  The truth is that they are barely making it work from paycheck to paycheck.  They have too much debt, and it’s their dirty little secret.

As with all things, turn to God’s Word, the Holy Bible, for answers to life’s questions.  Some people may be surprised to know that the Bible gives us guidance concerning finances.  The fact is that there are more than 1,000 scriptures in the Bible that deal with how we are to handle money and belongings.  Teach your children these things.  First of all,  as Christians, we are to look at our material wealth differently than others.  We remember that 1st Chronicles 29:11 says, “Everything in the heavens and earth is yours, O Lord.” (TLB)   What we have really belongs to the Lord, so we are to be good stewards of that part of His that He has entrusted to us to handle.

Therefore, we should want to be responsible in handling money.  The Bible teaches us to manage the money we have been given in a way that would lead us to not only have money for our daily needs, but also for the future.  Proverbs 21:20 says, “The wise man saves for the future, but the foolish man spends whatever he gets.” (TLB)  Plus, the Bible warns us in Proverbs 22:7 that “Just as the rich rule the poor, so the borrower is servant to the lender.” (TLB)  Those who have experienced it will tell you that being deep in debt does make you feel like you’re in bondage.  You may be working hard to bring money in for your family only to have to pay most of it back out to debtors.  The Lord does not want us to carry this type of financial burden.

One of the ways parents can teach their children to handle money well is to be good money managers themselves.  Set the example for your children.  Seek out good Christian resources to help you understand how to handle your finances in the way that pleases God.  One such resource is Crown Financial Ministries.  Check them out at www.crown.org. and start getting rid of your dirty little debt secret!

Helpful Links:

Focus on the Family     www.focusonthefamily.com

Crown Financial Ministries  www.crown.org

The Christian Broadcasting Network  www.cbn.com

World Magazine       www.worldmag.com

Question:  Our teenager refuses to report that she saw two of her good Christian friends cheating on a class test.  How do we explain to her that she should report them even if she risks losing them as friends?

Answer:  It can be hard for parents to admit to their children that some of those nice, church-going people aren’t always living like an example of Christ to the world.  As parents we can find it easier to present people as simply the “good guys” and the “bad guys.”  It’s very disappointing to realize that some of the “good guys” are participating in some really bad things when they think no one is watching.  This can be adult Christians who still think it’s alright to cheat on their income taxes or that it is no big deal if they sneak a few grapes to eat at the grocery store without buying the bunch.

It’s certainly true when we see church leadership caught up in inappropriate sexual behavior and refusing to step down from their positions.  Many times, their members  still support them staying in those leadership positions when they know these leaders should be removed.  All the while, we will see all these adult Christians in church the next Sunday, enthusiastically praising the Lord and claiming to love Jesus like nothing was wrong.  We can even find these same people looking down their noses at the drunks, drug dealers, and prostitutes on the street corner.  At least these people on the corner aren’t claiming to be Christians.  At least, the people on the corner aren’t holy hypocrites!

Therefore, explain to your teen that Christians are to be “salt and light” for our Lord.  Refer to Matthew 5:13, “You are the salt of the earth…” and Matthew 5:16, ” Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven” (NKJV).  Let your teen know that it is more important to please God by doing the right thing than to please these friends.  Real Christian friends will stay friends.  So, tell your teen to go to these friends and encourage them to turn themselves in.  But, if they don’t, report them, and also, pray for them to repent.  This may be hard to do, but no one said that being a Christian would be easy.

Helpful Links:

Focus on the Family          www.focusonthefamily.com

Crown Financial Ministries   www.crown.org

The Christian Broadcasting Network    www.cbn.com

World Magazine            www.worldmag.com