Question: How do you forgive someone close to you who really hurt your feelings?

Answer: Forgiving someone can be very difficult to do. The hurt you feel is real and hard to get over. Sometimes this hurt can cause you to be physically ill or mentally depressed. You may even wonder why, if God truly loves you, He allowed this hurtful betrayal to happen.

Rest assured! God does truly love you, and He does not want you to be hurt. He also knows that you are in a world full of sinful people. Because of this sin nature people may sometimes do things that hurt others — even others they claim to love.

God tells us in His word how we should prepare for and deal with those who hurt us. God reminds us that we ourselves are sinners who need Him to forgive us of our own sins. In His teachings about prayer, Jesus Christ said to pray “…And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12 NKJV). Jesus goes on to say, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14 – 15)

Believers should know that “In Him (Jesus) we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace.” (Ephesians 1:7)

However, when you forgive someone that doesn’t mean you allow them to continue to hurt you. You may need to put some distance between you and that person if they continue to mistreat you. And, if this person is putting you in an abusive or dangerous situation, you need to get away from them as soon as possible and seek help for your protection.

Also, know that those who mistreat you will not escape God’s wrath if they don’t repent of their sins. In Romans 12:19-20, the Apostle Paul reminds us of God’s promise to us concerning these matters:

“Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord. Therefore, ‘If your enemy hungers, feed him; If he thirsts, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.'”

So, yes, forgiving others can be hard. You need to pray for God’s Holy Spirit to help you do it. Remember: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21) Amen!